Aussie beer is crap

There. I’ve said it and I feel better.

Seriously, in terms of the major brands here it’s horrible. I know I wrote about it previously saying that there were the different types, brands, and subtle differences. Tonight though, I’ll make a stand and say it’s crap beer. Australia, I’m sorry, but your beer sucks. Sure, it’s drinkable, but it’s not very good, and.. AND it gives you a wicked hangover. If I have three Aussie beers I have a headache in the morning. Doesn’t happen with other types of beer, or I could even have five (5) shots of cheap tequila and no water, and still won’t have a headache in the morning. Slow, yes. Headache/Hangover, No.

I don’t know what it is either. I wrote before about a unique taste all the Aussie beers have. I’ve decided it’s not the water. The tap water in Sydney, Melbourne, and Brisbane, are all similar and very good. I’d compare the water to San Francisco Bay Area water. Maybe it’s the yeast.

So here are the major brands and styles:

Carlton Draught – by far my favorite Aussie beer, but it’s the Budweiser of Australia. Your standard lager, although best served NOT ice cold. Cold yes, but not ice cold.

Victoria Bitters – Crap. It might be the most advertised beer (every rugby match), but it’s not very good. Again, another lager, but more bitter than Carlton.

XXXX – They call it Four-X, I call it crap again. It’s from Queensland. Even Australian’s say it’s no good, but for some reason it’s still around.

Coopers – Okay, so Coopers has a couple beers I’ll comment on. Coopers Green or Pale Ale is horrible. I bought some in the US and was turned on, had it here and was turned off, so again… Crap. Coopers Red or Sparkling is better, but it’s not something worth writing any more abou…

James Squire – Evidently this is one of the oldest breweries. I liked the Amber a couple times I’ve had it, but I think it’s because it’s better than the above. Last week I went to a James Squire bar and had their porter. Porters are supposed to be full flavored, a little heavier, etc. Theirs is watered down. James Squire Blonde equals instant hangover. Seriously guys, if you’re going to make beer you need to let the alcohol cause the hangover after several drinks, not just one or two of your brews.

Crowne – I have absolutely nothing good to say about this beer. Ugh.

Little Creatures – I’ve tried their India Pale Ale, it’s not bad. It’s no Raj IPA from Four Peaks Brewery in Arizona, but it’s probably one of the best of the bunch.

And here we are. I’m sure there are other beers in Australia to try, so I’m not entirely closed minded. However, they all have the same Aussie crap-beer aftertaste.

Tonight I had some great beer. I went to a Belgium Beer restaurant with a couple of the guys. What a difference. I suppose moving forward in ordering beer I’ll have to spend the extra dollar and order an import, although nine dollars for a Corona just doesn’t sound right.

At some point I’ll have to write about Australian wines. They are wonderful.