And then there was Brisbane, but why am I here?

05162008_Brisbane_10.0-22.0 mm (7)
Originally uploaded by ZeeDesertRat

So I’ve accepted the suckage (my new word) that I took a flight to Sydney in order to get to Brisbane from Auckland, even though I could have taken a flight direct to Brisbane from Auckland and could have saved the company a good deal of money, but that’s what our Travel people are for, right? Anyway, after landing and getting a cab and getting to the hotel I was so happy that I was at a Marriott. The pillows are perfect – they aren’t too soft, nor are they too hard so you can’t sink into them. Same for the mattress – I want one. Generally I like a firmer mattress, but so you can sink into it just a little. Marriott has it and I plan to steal one and bring it back home with me. I’m sure they won’t notice. Past that there are the finer things that most guys don’t care about – hand cut marble tile in the bathroom, an actual bathtub which serves no purpose to me other than to throw my wet towels into, silk drapes, and… Oh, they have a plug by the desk where you can plug your iPod in and it will play through the TV just by selecting “iPod/MP3 Player” on the remote.

So I arrive at the hotel, sink into the bed with perfect pillows and blanket and… I can’t sleep. I go downstairs and… the bar is closed. After replying to some US originated emails I finally fall asleep.

The following day I make my way around the harbor finding the city gardens. I think all Aussie cities have these – just an area where large areas of grass are maintained surrounded by paths covered by high trees. In Oz it’s kinda like going to the zoo because you always come across some new bird that you’ve seen on the National Geographic Channel, Discovery, or even the Travel Channel. I say “kinda” because in all likelihood it’s just another stupid bird that’s going to try to shit on you. Those birds aren’t extinct for some reason, and therefore won’t be on those channels, but perhaps as our own species we can strive to change that. Sorry, another topic for another day.

Past the shitting birds the gardens are beautiful – open spaces like New York’s Central park and paths shaded by the trees above. Another aspect of Brisbane’s park is that you wan walk along it on the waterfront as well, which gives you the garden trees and the view over the water. On the walk over and back I noted a number of restaurants to pick from for dinner. For lunch though I went to what I’ll call the Australian Burrito that is actually called the kebab. Lamb, fresh lettuce, tomatoes, some hummus, and finally chili sauce in a pita and you’re on your way. Ordering one will set you back $5-8 depending on where you’re at, and today with a bottle of water I was now expensing $7.90 for lunch. Such a deal as the breakfast buffet was $30 – and yes, baked beans, grilled tomatoes, weird bacon, the coffee is absolutely wunderbar and toast. I think toast is a mainstay here – it’s thicker, you can order it to go all buttered and vegemited up or whatever at a coffee shop, and there’s a large variety of breads you can choose. Today I went with this English muffin looking thing, but it wasn’t that – it seemed to be more “eggy” but had dimples all throughout which caught my peanut butter, raspberry jam, and honey very well. It almost looked like a pancake gone wrong. Anyway, I think they’re very good. Oh, and you toast it with this conveyor belt oven – I think Quizno’s uses a similar one for their sandwiches.

That evening after doing a SalesLogix training and making a few customer calls I walked back down to the waterfront for dinner. So, as you can imagine I would just have to try the Sydney Rock Oysters in Brisbane to ensure they have the proper freshness as you’d fine in their home; and they do. I went with lemon as the garnish that night and enjoyed their richness and most likely heart attack cholesterol containing fats. Following that I ordered their seafood hot and sour soup. This isn’t like the Chinese soup you’ve had a cup of for $4. I’d imagine the soup I ordered was Thai based considering the sour fish sauce, chilies, ground peanut, and lemon grass – and that’s just the broth. Along with that was salmon, snapper, and tuna, along with mussels and a monster-sized prawn. It was more like a small lobster tail! It was wonderfully spicy but still allowed you to taste all the nuances of the fish. Fab.

Cricket is a sport which I tried watching after dinner. I really did try to watch it, but after a few minutes I caught myself blinking only to look over at the clock to see that it was now 3AM. I’d slept six hours! …and from what I remember of the game I don’t think I missed much.

What else, what else… Ah! I went to the mall! The malls is Australia have the most unique… Okay, no they don’t. They are just like any mall in the US except they might be more spread out between buildings and the food courts are much better – I’ve already written about those though. Today I needed new shoelaces, a haircut, and also wanted to get a watch so I didn’t have to rely on my cell, er, mobile phone. Cells have a much different connotation in Australia, so you call people on their mobiles – pronounced MO-BY-EL, not MO-BIL. At the haircut they ended it with a hot towel wrapped around my face that didn’t seem to serve much purpose, and it wasn’t quite the happy ending it could have been. The watch is cool – I picked up a Tissot, which is a Swiss made watch. Cost wise it’s along the same lines as a Citizen or higher end Fossil – which was my first choice until I started walking around. It’s silver and brushed steel with a dark cobalt face – simple but elegant; just like me.

So it appears it’s going to rain tonight – the clouds just started in and the sky has changed dramatically from blue to gray and you can see the wind through all the trees. I’m sitting in the hotel bar – enjoyed their Thai wings which sere very good but not worth writing about, and Victoria Bitter beer which is much better on draught, but still not a favorite Aussie beer in my book. Don’t get me wrong, it’s good, but I’d prefer a James Squire or Carlton Draught. Again, the Thai wings were good, but as you can see I wrote more about the beer in the same paragraph. I suppose it’s time to just enjoy my beer and wait for the rugby match later this evening.

Scratch that, I have a final thought. Why is it that the most unattractive, rude, and annoying people are also the loudest? There is this mid-50’s lady sitting close by discussing Singapore and ordering the waitress around in the most condescending tone I’ve ever seen. If she was Paris Hilton I might understand, but this lady is no one right down to her wearing all black to discuss her fat, and thicker Aussie accent to discuss her unintelligence. Ah, but I’m past this already as I’ve accepted her into what I’ve developing into the worldwide measurement of suckage.

And of course in saying that she just answered her MO-BY-EL phone in a louder tone discussing London and needing to send an email in twenty-four hours to “sort it out”.

Time for another beer so I can correctly catalog this into my suckage chronicles…